In his book, Above the Line, former Ohio State University football coach Urban Meyer shared leadership insights that helped guide the team — both on and off the field — through their 2014 national championship season. He recalled an incident in which a player learned his girlfriend was cheating on him. “They had an extremely heated argument . . . He could tell that he was on the brink of losing control . . . He was close to doing something terrible that could change the course of his life, and it was at that exact point that he pressed pause and called his position coach . . . The coach talked to him . . . and helped him step back from the torrent of emotions and get his mind right.”1
“Press pause,” think of it as a disciplined response — and a form of self-leadership — that helps one avoid regrettable reactions and choose reasonable responses instead. The young man in this scenario teetered precariously on the brink of physical violence, but the temptation to rash speech brings us to “press pause” crisis points, as well, and indeed more often. King Solomon observed, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”2 We can also think of “press pause” as the wisdom to stop, think, and manage our emotions, instead of letting them master us. In so doing, we will find that the circumstances which might have led to internal suffering through verbal sniping can lead us in the way of blessing, instead. Again, from Solomon: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”3 Isn’t this ultimately how we want to live our lives — as meaningful vessels for good?
Then how do we step back and get our mind right? First, consider Jesus’ liberating love for you. You are completely and forever forgiven and redeemed through His proactive love. Then when the “torrent of emotions” begins to swell up against another, look safely inside. For Jesus teaches us, “What you say flows from what is in your heart.”4 When we press pause and honestly examine our own fleshy motivations — retaliation and belittlement, for instance — those we might otherwise disparage emerge now as companions in need of grace, and rash words of harm can give way to wise words of healing.
“I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth with a muzzle . . . ”5 — King David
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”6 In Christ I pray. Amen.
1 Urban Meyer. Above the Line: Lessons in Leadership and Life from a Championship Season. (Penguin Press, 2015), 49-50. (Emphasis added.)
2 Proverbs 10:19 ESV
3 Proverbs 12:18 ESV
4 Luke 6:45 NLT
5 Psalm 39:1 ESV
6 Psalm 139:23-24 ESV
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Paul Nordman—Author 