From the Oscar-winning film, “Pulp Fiction”1 . . .
Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman): In conversation, do you listen, or wait to talk?
Vincent Vega (John Travolta): I have to admit that I wait to talk, but I’m trying harder to listen.
My first Kairos Prison Ministry Weekend was in the Spring of 2009. Like all first-timers, I was nervous in the weeks leading up to the event, but by day two, Friday afternoon, I had become so excited and engaged that I was no longer thinking of the men in terms of inmate or outside volunteer. The atmosphere seemed as familiar and comfortable to me as any other gathering of friends, and by Saturday afternoon, I was amazed at the openness and joy in the room. I’d seen spiritual transformation before, but nothing like this. I thought to myself: “‘Listen, listen; love, love’ (the Kairos slogan) really works.”
Truly listening is truly loving. In his letter to early believers, the apostle James exhorted them, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”2 How can we begin to love our neighbors as ourselves if we don’t take time to understand them? Moreover, the psalmist celebrates the liberty we experience when God lends His ear to us. “I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.”3 The 20th Century German pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it this way: “God’s love for us is shown by the fact that God not only gives us God’s word, but also lends us God’s ear. We do God’s work for our brothers and sisters when we learn to listen to them. So often Christians, especially preachers, think that their only service is always to ‘offer’ something when they are together with other people. They forget that listenting can be a greateer service than speaking.”4
For most of us, selfless listening — effective listening — is sacrificial. We prefer to express ourselves, and when we do let others speak, perhaps we are, like the “Pulp Fiction” hitman, merely “waiting to talk.” But when, instead, we “try harder to listen,” our silence speaks with unmatched clarity. It says: “You matter. I care. Look up! There’s hope.”
Listening: it may be the greatest ministry to which God calls you today.
Father, You listen to my every prayer, even to the unarticulated cries of my soul. Grace me to listen selflessly to others, that they too would know the freedom, hope, and joy of being heard. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
1 Tarantino, Q. (1994). Pulp Fiction. Miramax.
2 James 1:19 ESV
3 Psalm 116:1-2 ESV
4 Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together (London: SCM, 1972), 75. https://au.thegospelcoalition.org/article/loving-people-by-listening/
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