The Grace of Relinquishing Control

At an athletic six feet, five inches and two hundred ninety pounds, my friend James played offensive lineman for the Dallas Cowboys back in the day, which is to say he understood imposing one’s will amid chaos. A recent stroke, complicated by Guillain-Barre syndrome, has changed all of this, however. “I used to try to control my world,” reflected my now older, wiser friend, “but what I learned is, we don’t control much.” So true, so true. Whether you want to control a situation but can’t, or you need someone else to exert authority and they won’t, ineffectuality is a dispiriting place to live.

I once found myself needing a reluctant colleague to take control of a situation that was his to manage. Perhaps you can recall this type of occurrence in your life. I found myself profoundly frustrated, even to the point of feeling nauseous and losing sleep. No matter how hard I tried to urge him along, and despite how much our team needed him to act, he remained idle. Sharing my burden, Peggy suggested three Bible verses that, though I had read them many times, now sprang to life under the circumstances.

Isaiah 26:3 NKJV. “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” I prayed this repeatedly, whether on a walk outside, pacing the kitchen floor, or lying sleeplessly in my bed. Dozens of times, scores of times, and ultimately hundreds of times. And indeed peace came at the realization it is God who faithfully provides it.

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” When to my petition I added thanks — not as a formula or gimmick, but truly — my peace indeed rose to a level beyond my ability to comprehend. Though outward circumstances had not changed, amazement and joy now sprang up within me.

1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” This verse reminded me that neither fear nor blame are of God, but of the evil one. Mine was to relinquish in faith both my frustration with my colleague and my underestimation of God. And again came deep peace.

Herein lies the grace: realizing “we don’t control much,” we can entrust ourselves to Him who does and, in Him, have peace. Try it.

Father, You are sovereign over all things. You are good, and You guide us in Your goodness. Grace us to relinquish our attempts at control and to entrust ourselves to Yours. In Christ we pray. Amen.