Manny1 is the kind of prisoner for whom I ache most: socially awkward, defenseless, and essentially a loner, not necessarily because he wants to be, but because society has relegated him to its farthest margins—an outcast of the outcast. When he approached me at a weekly Kairos gathering at the prison one evening, I was happy to engage, but it was when he began to talk about forgiveness that he captured my rapt attention. Manny recalled a season when two inmates oppressed him—he didn’t say how and I didn’t ask. Life was miserable in this way, but he sensed God telling him, “You must forgive them.” So, Manny obeyed. “When I forgave them,” he recalled, “it was like this several-hundred-pound weight just lifted from my chest. I no longer hold anything against them.” His few friends in lockup were incredulous: “Why did you forgive them?” “God told me to,” replied this forgotten man who humbly believed and did as he was told. How like God, to choose the incarcerated as testimony to inner freedom.
We’ve all witnessed grudges nursed for far lesser offenses. Have you ever heard someone say, “God might forgive them, but I won’t”? Have we ever said it—or something like it—ourselves, whether silently or aloud? God says it’s not OK. To His audience on the hillside, Jesus taught, “If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”2 Give grace, receive grace. Then to the Ephesians—and vital for believers everywhere and of all times—Paul writes, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”3 Receive grace, give grace.
Forgiveness is a response of obedience taken in faith, regardless of feeling. And here’s the thing: Forgiveness always pays a bonus. For when from the heart we truly release others from their moral debt to us, our ensuing burden—the guilt and weight of our unforgiveness—is lifted as well. And whether we forgive seven times or seventy-seven,4 each time we are surprised by the peace and joy of releasing “a burden too heavy to bear.”5
So may this from Paul be the inclination of our hearts redeemed: “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”6
Manny did, and he’s still talking about it.
Father, forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.7 In Christ we live and in Him we pray. Amen.
1 This name is changed for privacy purposes.
2 Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
3 Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
4 Matthew 18:21-22 NIV
5 Psalm 38:4 NLT
6 Colossians 3:13 NLT
7 Matthew 6:12 KJV
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Paul Nordman—Author 